Monday, January 9, 2012
It is so strange to be in mourning for a beloved rabbit even as I welcome another one into my life. This weekend Cinnaman and I were able to meet some rabbits, thanks to Pam Hurley, Susan Wong, and Lori Sundberg of Friends of Rabbits in Columbia, Maryland. I confess I felt uneasy, wondering all the while, it is only a week since Boo died so unexpectedly, surely it is too soon? Then I recalled how each night Cinnamon would flop against her stuffed rabbit doll Mr. Bunny. The killer was when she tried to flop against this small stuffed prairie dog in her pen. My heart shattered; her loneliness was more unbearable than my own. I had to at least start the search to see what would happen.
Amazingly enough, the search ended yesterday when Cinnamon selected with a grooming kiss a handsome grey Rex rabbit named Benjamin, a rabbit who once was destined to be put down at a local animal shelter. Happily Friends of Rabbits came along and saved his life and now, after months in foster care, he is here, in his forever home, with my darling Cinnamon. It is comforting to know that if we had to lose Boo, it enabled us to save another rabbit from a sad fate. Still, my heart is in such a muddle. As I rode the bus home tonight, the unexpected snowfall had already coated the trees; the sheer whiteness of the snow reminded me of my Boo, and tears welled in my eyes in spite of all efforts to keep them back. Have I not respected his memory enough, I wonder? Did we move too soon? A friend advised that the needs of Cinnamon must come before my own (a view my vet happens to disagree with.) While I did act on her behalf because I wanted to end her loneliness, even in this I had a selfish motive.
I could be happy if I knew Cinnamon was not alone. All indications thus far indicate she found Mr. Right--again.
Benjamin is a sweetheart too, very laid back and mellow, and extremely affectionate. He is, much to my delight and gratitude, a "kissy" bunny as was Woodstock and Boo.
I pray he and Cinnamon will be with me a long time and I hope that my tears that still fall for Boo do not alienate him in some way. I know life goes on and I know that Boo will never leave my heart and yet it still hurts so much that his stay with us was so fleeting. Benjamin will never be able to replace that love or even soothe that hurt; yet I know he will exert a positive influence on me, as all the rabbits who have graced my life have done so. Despite my grief and my pain, I know I am blessed. Love transcends this life and the next. We will all be united one day, of that I am sure and in that I must find my consolation and strength to keep bringing these wonderful creatures into my life.